Vatertag: Entfremdete Väter haben wenig Grund zu Feiern (Fathers Day: Alienated Fathers have little to celebrate)

A report from the leading Austrian Website for fathers rights. I did not know this before but PA is not acknowledged by the courts there!  Even though clinical experts accept that it does exist.

Austria has a long way to go!

As an aside there is also a confirmation of what I have been looking for a long time – The situation in France: wo gezielte Kontaktverhinderung ein Strafdelikt ist – Where targeted prevention of contact is a criminal offence.

via Vatertag: Entfremdete Väter haben wenig Grund zum Feiern | Familie & Familienrecht

Transparency: What to do about ‘parental alienation’: B (change of residence; parental alienation) March 2017


Excellent analysis of a recent decision to move a child that had been alienated from her father to the father.

To quote:

Certainly, parental alienation is a topic of significant public interest and importance for families and family justice professionals. It provokes strong opinions, including on whether and how the family court system (including Cafcass) ought to do better in identifying and managing parental alienation. International Parental Alienation Day on 25 April 2017 inspired a fair amount of commentary. See this Hansard debate secured by ex-Labour Party MP Simon Danczuk on 17 March for a flavour.

via What to do about ‘parental alienation’: B (change of residence; parental alienation) March 2017 | The Transparency Project

Norwich father urges judges to publish rulings on his decade-long family court battle which has cost him more than £500,000

Old Bailey

Old Bailey: Picture by Ben Sutherland

A Norwich man urges the family court to actually publish the transcripts of his 10-year odyssey in trying to see (more) of his child.

  • In his case six courts in two different areas of the UK were involved
  • a half a million pounds was spent by him
  • every hearing was in private

How on earth can justice be ‘served’ in this case?  There is a huge need for transparency in the family courts to stop situations like this.

via Norwich father urges judges to publish rulings on his decade-long family court battle which has cost him more than £500,000 – Crime – Eastern Daily Press

One of my favorite films

The-Day-the-Earth-Caught-Fire-17448_1I have just finished watching one of my favourite films. “The Day the Earth Caught Fire” about when the effects of two nuclear weapons tests result in the Earth being pushed slowly towards the sun.

In the film there is a not insignificant scene where one of the reporters of the Daily Express meets up with his ex-wife and his child. The impression given is that the mother, in this case, is ‘allowing’ him to see his child. A similar situation to some custody situations now.

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If you tell a lie often enough …

A lie told often enough becomes the truth

Lenin, Marxist revolutionary (1870-1924)

A very interesting quote is it not?  And what has it got to do with parental alienation?

Well – everything really.

Parental alienation works by giving the children the impression that the absent parent is ‘bad’, and to that end any tricks and/or lies are acceptable.

Continue reading →

Karen Woodall: Residence Transfer as a Treatment Route For Parental Alienation: Not The Nuclear Option

Karen Woodall

I read this week that a transfer of residence is the ‘nuclear option’ for treatment of parental alienation in the UK .  The discussion arises from a public judgement in which the child concerned was sent to live with her father.  Whilst there is a significant wrangling about the decision, based on the argument that the child had been too damaged already to be helped by a change of residence, (the judge finding that a particularly unattractive argument put forward by the mother), the words at the end of the Judgement are clear, the child will go to live with her father today.

That reality, which could just as easily read, the child will go to live with her mother today, given that fathers alienate mothers too, is one which causes too many people to become uneasy when they contemplate it.  Which is why I guess, it is called by…

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Parental Alienation: Baiting and Bashing (includes some trains)!

Just a quick post on this pic/statement that appeared on my twitter feed today.


It is hard to believe that when one is behaving properly, correctly, in control, and holding the moral high ground of somebody that is essentially the victim, that they themselves can become the ‘aggressor’.

Let’s take a practical example out of my past experiences.

I finally got my court order changed to be able to pick up my boys and take them to Munich from Saturday to Sunday the first overnight stay for a year. Just over an hour with the direct train. But there was a problem. My Ex wanted me to go from a smaller station (Eichstätt-Stadt) that feeds into a larger mainline station (Eichstätt-Bahnhof) which would increase the journey by 40 minutes, and even longer for me because to arrive at the scheduled time I would be bound by the times of the train service to the smaller station and arrive 50 minutes before I was due to pick up the kids.

The judge agreed on the transfer point being the mainline station, which is around about the same journey time by car from their house as the other station. i.e. I was not asking them to go out of their way.

Sorry about the long-winded start, but here we go – what happens on the day?  I turn up on time at the court-ordered location – the mainline station.  She isn’t there. Knowing her now I sense what has happened and just wait. Sure enough, she turns up on the slow train from the other station that connects with the mainline service. She gets out with the children and starts raising her voice very loudly at me immediately, in front of at least three dozen other passengers and my children. I remain calm. She escalates, starts shouting and starts to look around for support. I could see the “you bastard” or similar looks in some people’s eyes. She starts talking about additional expenses of the tickets (< €4), anything to keep the situation going. The boys go off to sit and wait and I try to extricate myself, and finally manage it because I didn’t engage with her, and I certainly did not argue the toss.

So now read the graphic again please, and what have we:

  • She managed to make me the villain in the piece even though I followed the court order to the letter.
  • She made my children think that it as well.
  • She turned herself into the victim.
  • Any chance of me being believed in such a context is around zero.

It was her way of saying ‘I do not agree with you taking the kids to Munich (100km) away, you should still visit them here in Eichstätt (Pop. 14,000) and spend just a couple of hours in a coffee shop somewhere instead of quality time with your father at his home’.

There were desserts as well. On bringing them back the mainline train was a whole – wait for it – drumroll please – five minutes late. I sent her a text and she and her boyfriend were waiting. Cue scene and shouting. Demonstrably going to the timetable to see when the train should have arrived, and if I was late there would be trouble. Again the kids were witnessing all of this, as well as her ‘man’ who lamely said ‘We can check on the internet when we get home’.

This was the first time in over a year of lawyers and judges to be able to get the children to visit me in Munich. We had a great time, the memory of which was destroyed in seconds – coincidence?

An exchange of lawyers letters ensued and she yet again managed to circumvent a court order causing me to get a train an hour early just to be at the smaller station in time and causing the children an extra half an hour travelling to Munich. It also meant reducing the time with the children by an hour on the return journey. The effect being not only extending the journey time unnecessarily, but also laying the seeds for it being tedious to go and visit Daddy every time, and the journey is so long and boring, and there are better things to do with your time …

Learning to raise your voice can sometimes have the desired effect regardless of content – unfortunately.

Sorry about all the railway talk (takes off anorak sheepishly).

© 2017 lostdad – all rights reserved

Unbelievable story from Austria with a Happy End

Unbelievable story from Austria.

A mother kidnaps her daughter and takes her to her native Poland in December 2013, but the father manages to bring her back to Austria. He gets full custody for the daughter.

In October 2014 the partner of the father is attacked with pepper spray as she brings the daughter to the Kindergarten. She obviously brings her daughter to the grandmother in Polen and then after an international arrest order is issued the mother hands herself into the police. Leaving her daughter in Poland with the grandmother.

She is given a three-year jail sentence, which she is then able to serve out in Poland, where she is released on bail after a short while.

After following her they manage to find out where the daughter has been hidden (one of three hiding places in the time). They manage to free the daughter from the hiding place that is only rudimentary.

What on earth was this parent thinking of? The girl has not been to school in this time. Probably not even been to the doctors!

Luckily the alienation between the father and the daughter was able to be broken down a little after a couple of visits.

And after all this, the father still believes that when the dust has settled his daughter should see her mother.

Every child needs both their parents.

via Kritik an Behörden – Doppelentführung – Kind Lara gefunden! | Familie & Familienrecht