Again, based on personal experience and has no relation to the work of practising members of the psychology profession!
I have been intimately involved in parental alienation for several years now. I have researched the hell out of it, and since the start of this blog at the start of the year I have also come across dozens more cases, some with their own blog, others through my twitter feed.
For any parent who is alienated from their child, every single day brings the painful realisation that they are missing a vital piece of their heart and soul. To me it is an unimaginable pain, and yet one I encounter on an almost daily basis as I support men who through no fault of their own, have had this inflicted upon them.
Birthdays, holidays, and festive occasions are all exceptionally difficult times for alienated parents and after Christmas Day there is perhaps none more damaging or hurtful for men than being alienated on Father’s Day.
Many Australian families will be celebrating the role of father’s in their children’s lives this week. Little children will be rushing into Dad’s room to give him the present they made at school, or purchased from the school fete. Older children will be giving Dad a hug, making him breakfast and letting him know he is…
Well after several years of having to deal with this I have a theory. It probably will be shot down by any practising psychologist within a three-kilometer radius but here goes…
The problem with downright lying is that it is hard to reproduce. I mean we have all seen those crime series on TV, where the same questions are asked time and time again, sometimes from several angles to try and catch the perpetrator out. Well, there is a reason for this. If you make it up completely – I mean Pinocchio level lying, then it never happened, so how do you actually remember it? It is difficult, and some can do it, even maintaining the framework of several lies.
I was reading this report today on transparency about a father that brought a case of Parental Alienation against his wife with respect to his two boys. The analysis of the case by the superbly independent Transparency Group showed that he was probably to blame for his actions, and ultimately the fact that he did not allow himself to reconsider the ramifications of his actions, or show any empathy for the circumstances which effectively caused the situation that now existed.
I read this report three times, and as always I drifted off in contemplation. All sorts of questions came to mind: Did I cause my own situation? I am to blame? Am I possessed with blaming my ex-wife and her new husband for something that is ultimately down to me?
A very emotive post from a father that has lost his children to PA. Describing how it is possible for one person to do this out of pure spite, and with the intention of destroying the other parent – causing pain.
It hurt to read this, and if you have no idea of what abused parents have gone through please read this – it is a real eye-opener.
Article in todays Journal (Ireland) from Matt O’connor (father 4 Justice).
Insightful article from Matt, with details on why this fathers day is not a fathers day for quite a few fathers in Ireland.
Also interesting is the position of the catholic church.
The Church has consistently refused to support the rights of separated fathers to see their children and while Pope Francis has eulogised about the role of mothers, he has repeatedly made discriminatory comments about dads.
In his 2016 papal pronouncement Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), Pope Francis went as far to describe fathers as “absent, missing…too controlling…they neglect families…fail to offer sure and solid guidance to their children.”
In fact, not a single priest has raised his voice to express concern for the plight of fatherless children and their dads.
Today is Father’s Day, a day to celebrate love for your dad and show him how much you care. Today, in Scotland, the border of which, by my reckoning, is a mere 382 miles from where I write this blog this morning, one father wakes up without the relationship he had painstakingly rebuilt with his child. A relationship which, after being rebuilt over many years in the face of a tsunami of resistance, was ended last week by Scotland’s outdated family courts.
Today, this blog is for this father and his child and it comes with a promise. Your pain and the causing of deliberate harm through ignorance, arrogance and the utter incompetence of the system which governs Scotland, will NOT be in vain. This moment has been marked and we who understand and know the truth about parental alienation in your case and so many others, WILL BE BACK.