by lostdad

Hansard – Parental Alienation

Full text of the debate yesterday in parliament about PAS. Mainly positive remarks, but no real movement on the side of the department of justice.

Quotable remarks from the debate:

Danzuck: Despite those shocking statistics, the United Kingdom lags behind many other countries across the world in addressing the issue. Parental alienation is not recognised in the lower courts and, although the higher courts acknowledge that parental alienation occurs, many family rights campaigners feel the courts do nothing about it. Although there have been small steps in the right direction, progress in the UK has been far too slow.

Fernades: Does he agree with Mr Justice Munby, as he then was—he is now president of the family division of the High Court and has judged many family cases involving contact disputes—that the cause of these problems is delay in the court system, the failure of the courts to challenge groundless allegations against non-resident fathers and the failure of the courts to get to grips with defiance of contact orders and child arrangement orders and to properly enforce against breach? Does he agree that that is the core of some of the problems?  (my emphasis)

Continue reading →

by lostdad

Parents who use children as a weapon in break-up ‘should be punished in court’

Very interesting story here about the first ever debate in the British parliament about Parental Alienation. Proposed by the independent (form. Labour) MP Simon Danczuk.  I hope he will continue to pursue this cause as well as he did with the child abuse/Cyril Smith scandal.

I will keep you posted as to the outcome.

via Parents who use children as a weapon in break-up ‘should be punished in court’ | BreakingNews.ie

by lostdad

The importance of bonding – keeping in touch

Even if you or your soon-to-be ex-partner do not move away then keeping in touch with the children is of paramount importance.

Bonding with the children is a continuing process that requires continual contact. Finding out how they are doing, what they are doing etc. – all in a way that is natural and unforced.

Continue reading →

by lostdad

Wütende Väter schöpfen neue Hoffnung

Another article on the German Supreme Courts ruling that shared-parenting can be applied in Germany,  if 1) it is in the childs interests and 2) the parents are not already battling it out in court. Then it can be ‘forcefully’ applied.

A couple of interesting things come out of this article:

  • The Germany Family Minister from the Social Democrat Party is VERY pro-mother.
  • Even though the cause of this ruling from the Supreme Court is based in part on the recommendation from the Council of Europe to incorporate shared parenting into national law this minister has ignored it, and has commissioned her own study into the benefits. This study is effectively forbidden from taking evidence from those children that are mostly affected by PAS. Because BOTH parents have to give written permission!

Finally an open letter from “mutterlobby.de” addressed to the family minister is referenced. This letter talks about fathers that simply want to see their children in the most negative way.  Isn’t is time to stop the gender war and find a common workable way for both sexes to contribute to the development of their own children?

via Streit um Scheidungskinder: Wütende Väter schöpfen neue Hoffnung – WELT

by lostdad

Darum hat sie ihre Familie für die Liebe verlassen

Interesting story from the German periodical Bunte. This is from a best-selling author and mother who details how she came to terms with shared parenting,  why she wanted it, and also the reaction from other mothers.

There is still a long why to go before some mothers realise that they do not “own” their children unfortunately.

via Bestsellerautorin Lisa Frieda Cossham: Darum hat sie ihre Familie für die Liebe verlassen | BUNTE.de

by lostdad

Forgetting the past (sometimes)

I haven’t written or posted for the last couple of days for a reason. I have enjoyed half-term with my new family.

I think while it is important never to forget the past and its injustices, it is also important to concentrate on the present and enjoy what it has to offer. I am enormously lucky to have met a wonderful woman, who brought her 8-year old son with her into our relationship. I effectively have a new family. While she understands more than most what I have endured in the past, it is important for me and our new relationship to enjoy the present and plan the future.

Continue reading →

by lostdad

Gerichte dürfen Eltern geteilte Betreuung vorschreiben

Interesting story from WELT online.

The German supreme court has decided that there should not be a problem if the family courts decree a shared-parenting construct. The default up till now was the the every other weekend model.

But as always there is a major catch (or two)

  • It must be in the child’s interest (Kindeswohl).
  • The child must agree (and will be interviewed by the court)
  • The parents cannot be in clinch with each other.

Both of these points can be torpedoed quickly enough by any abusing parent. In particular the last point. A couple of calls to social services alleging something and no chance.

So it sounds good, but only in very few cases per year when both parents agree.

And as a footnote – There still isn’t a reasonable decision how to “split” the child maintenance in cases of shared parenting. At the moment it is split 50:50 when the time involved is 50:50, but the absent parent still pays 100% child maintenance costs even if he looks after this children up to 49% of the time. So what is going to happen in some families when the custodial parent is going to lose several hundred Euros a month 😉

Good idea from the title, but effectively useless for most absent parents.

via Trennungskinder: Gerichte dürfen Eltern geteilte Betreuung vorschreiben – WELT