Today I got a mail from my ex-wife.

She is obliged to send me information about my two boys at regular intervals. This is the last stage of the German court drama I went through. It’s like child maintenance – you cannot avoid it.

She is required to send me information regarding their hobbies, how they are doing, school reports and a Ganzkörperbild (Full body photo). Now any normal person would actually write a bit. All I got was this:

Jonathan A

Schule:    bekommt jetzt keinen Notenstandsbericht, dafür ein Zwischenzeugnis in 02/17, Lieblingsfach Religion 

Freizeit:     Klavier (aktuell: It´s time to say goodbye,Weihnachtslieder)Ministrant 

Gesundheitszustand:    keine Erkrankung

 

Raphael A

Schule:                 –     Notenstandsbericht in der Anlage, bekommt dafür kein Zwischenzeugnis in 02/17, Lieblingsfach Sport

 Freizeit:               –     Fussball (derzeitige Position Libero),Ministrant

Gesundheitszustand:    keine Erkrankung

Which basically translates to, School – see report; The favourite subject of my eldest (14) is religion, his hobby is playing the piano and attending church, my youngest (12) enjoys football and attending church. Both have no illnesses.

This is nevertheless an improvement on the last report that was two lines long!

I am left with just sending a Christmas card to my only two living blood relatives and hoping they actually open the envelope.