Posts by lostdad

I'm a lost dad - A survivor. For years I have had to witness the continuing alienation of my boys from me. Several visits to court tried to stop the situation but in the end my own boys believed everything they heard at home and refused to see me any more. Parental alienation exists, is real and is abuse - both for the children and the non-residental parent.

What Will the European Association of Parental Alienation Practitioners mean to Family Law in Europe?

Karen Woodall

In this third article following the launch of the European Association of Parental Alienation Practitioners, I am taking a brief look at what EAPAP will mean in terms of family law.  Whilst I cannot be detailed as each member country has a different legal framework in place, I understand enough about the difference in legal systems in member countries to be able to predict what such an association can do to create the necessary paradigm shifts that allow change to occur.

During the conference I spoke with Dr Simona Valdica from Romania, a country which has criminalised parental alienation. Our discussions confirmed for me that the belief that simply making it illegal to alienate a child will resolve the problem is erroneous. Dr Simona spoke of the work her organisation continues to do in the deeply complex field of serious and entrenched parental alienation and how even in the face…

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Parental alienation, one year on. What have I learnt? 

A thoughtful post from Peace not PAS. I subscribe to each and every one of your points.

Lee Serpa Azevado

It is now a year since I have had any contact with my three beautiful young children.

My ex continues to deny me any contact with them.  My ex continues to take advantage of a flawed system. A system that enables her to ignore and breach court orders for contact and engagement in interventions, with no legal consequence.

I do not claim to be an expert in parental alienation. My story is no worse than any other of the incalculable number of alienated out there.

The following is certainly not intended to be viewed as some kind of checklist to battle parental alienation.

I have simply reflected on the last year and compiled a list of what I have learnt during the last twelve months.

  • Normalising the sense of sadness and low mood one will invariably experience as an alienated parent is okay to do.
  • Allowing this sadness and low…

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Transparency Project: Limits of court’s influence over adult disputes about children

I have just read an excellent summary from the transparency project (link below) about a case from 2011 that has just been published in the UK.

Interesting is the fact that the child was at the time a ward of court, and the parents were still fighting for the child. In 2009 there had been enough evidence to see that the actions of both parents were detrimental to the child. In 2011 the judge summed up so:

The difficulty in the case is that each of them has heard clearly what I have said about the other, but for the most part, have not heard what was said about them … The conflict continues unabated. The mother continues to make allegations which the court has found unsubstantiated in her discussions with other professionals. The father still has no chink of understanding about why it all went wrong in the first place so far as his behaviour was concerned…

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Peace at Last

Poignant story from btg-dad on what it really means to be a father

Lee Serpa Azevado


There are numerous behaviours one can ‘get away with’ by being a Dad. No, I am not referring to childbirth, nor am I referring to parental alienation.

For example I love climbing trees, however it is not deemed socially acceptable for a grown man to walk over a forest alone and then proceed to climb trees and hang upside in joyous celebration of such an achievement.

“One of these days Daddy, you are going to fall over for real!”

I have also never pretended to trip up ‘slap-stick’ style when only in my own company. Prior to being alienated from my three young children I would ‘trip up’ without fail every time I would serve them their evening meal at the dinner table. Each time would result in the same responses; my youngest child G, giggling loudly each time, appearing as if she would never tire of such tomfoolery. My…

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To live a life any less than challenging

Lee Serpa Azevado


Too many of us spend far too much of our lives trying to fit in.

Some individuals are lucky enough to be born with an enviable, but healthy disregard for what others may think.

Individuals that do not need the validation, recognition or reassurance of others.

Individuals that are happy enough with themselves.

Individuals that understand that any strive for absolute perfection is flawed, unrealistic and unachievable.

Individuals that not only adapt to the unpredictability of life but embrace it.

Individuals that vrive on, learn from and grow from the chaos of life.

Individuals that understand that to turn away from the chaos of life is to not live at all.

To not push ourselves to the limit, is to limit life itself.

To live a life any less than challenging, is to not live at all.

btg dad

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